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Pizza Is A Vegetable? Congress Says Yes.

November 16, 2011 1 comment

In the latest sign of the impending apocalypse, Congress has taken the unexplainable step of declaring pizza a vegetable.  The reason?  It’s got tomato paste on it!

Read the unbelievable story for yourself here….

Specifically, the provisions would:

  • Block the Agriculture Department from limiting starchy vegetables, including corn and peas, to two servings a week. The rule was intended to cut down on french fries, which some schools serve daily.
  • Allow USDA to count two tablespoons of tomato paste as a vegetable, as it does now. The department had attempted to require that only a half-cup of tomato paste could be considered a vegetable — too much to put on a pizza. Federally subsidized lunches must have a certain number of vegetables to be served.
  • Require further study on long-term sodium reduction requirements set forth by the USDA guidelines.
  • Require USDA to define “whole grains” before they regulate them. The rules would require schools to use more whole grains.

First of all, geniuses, a tomato is a fruit, not a vegetable.

Second, do pizzas grow out of the ground like all other vegetables do?  I think I’m going to pick up a pizza plant on the way home tonight.

Third, I think I’ll be eating a large serving of vegetables for dinner tonight!